"Harlo auntie, kopi O lai ji bueh hor"

Recently I have been accused of “exhibiting a level of maturity well past my age”. It would have been a rare compliment, except that the observer had meant it to be anything but that. The exact words were “Why you so uncle”, albeit said in a jokingly manner (I certainly hope so). And so, thinking I could prove wrong the person who remarked that, I retrospect my behavior and the activities I’ve been doing lately, instead coming up with so many personal examples that I had to concede to her. Here’s ten of them off the top of my head, and arranged like one of those online quizzes people like so much. Who knows, you might find your inner “uncle” too.

1. You buy 4D and Toto weekly, and say things like “Got buy, got chance”.

2. When you meet your buddies for dinner, yours is the only Kopi O amidst all the Coke and Teh Ping.

3. You have friends who like to hang out in town and go clubbing, but you prefer to hang out at a kopitiam and go fishing.

4. You have hundreds of Hokkien songs in your media library, and you hope fellow commuters can’t hear them coming out of your headphones on the rush hour train.

5. You ever considered buying a gold watch and Ray Ban Aviators (I later found out from an uncle that Top Gun popularized them back in the 80’s.)

6. You find yourself occasionally replying your friends in dialect without thinking, and you have the urge to mispronounce English words on purpose.

7. You realize that you look like one of your father’s fishing pals when you are in a stripy polo T-shirt, shorts, and slippers.

8. You are always lamenting about the “good old days” (though the good old days were really just your Secondary school life half a decade ago).

9. You like the cars which were popular two decades ago.

10. Your friend (Jolyn) points out to you that you are an “uncle” all too often, and the friend (Brandon) you hang out with got labeled “uncle” too by his girlfriend.

Nonetheless I’m not too worried about it. It’s probably just the Singaporean heartlander way of life deeply anchored in me. I just hope I don’t go into an identity crisis twenty years from now haha.