A thank you note for Jolyn

For your soft warm hands wrapped within mine
During the short walks we take when I send you home
For the endearing way you look at me sometimes
It’s moments like this I feel very fortunate indeed
For the sweet sound of your sprightly laughter
When we chat on the phone late into every night
For the bliss I feel when I have you by my side
Together in the caress of the sea breeze at the harbor side
For your soothing words when something makes me frown
And picking me up when I’m feeling rather down
For my bad habits which only you can bear
Even when you niam, I know it’s because you care
For all of your lovoly words and lovolier gestures
Which fill my heart with delicious rapture
And everything about you that I perpetually crave
An appetite hard to satisfy and impossible to satiate

Thank you

Just for being mine.

You don't want to read this

There's something wrong with me. I'm in an aggressive melancholic state and I cannot shake it off or fathom the cause of it. I haven't got any appetite, there's nothing that tempts. I seem to be craving for alcohol though. Not the usual social drinking sessions with your friends, my heart yearns for an uncontrolled binge within the confines of isolation. I want smokes too, I don't care which type as long as it's something heavy. What the fuck is it with depression that beckons for the company of substance abuse anyway. This reminds me the time when I was alone in Bangkok and was struck with the similar mental malaise, but the reason back then was clear at least. I don't have any drive to do anything else now, I've been lying on my bed and allowing this manic gloom to fester in me for the past hour. Figured that if I were to sit up and open a window in my heart to air my frustrations here, perhaps I would find out what's actually affecting me so badly. But all this ranting and raving don't tell me anything I don't already know, instead I'm only even more reminded of my inclination towards self-destructive behavior. Makes me question myself now about the previous drinking binges I've had, and how it almost took my life not once, but twice. Did I really got careless and drank too much of the happy juice, or am I secretly bent on my own demise? If it's the latter, isn't it fucked up that you would try to harm yourself without being actually conscious about it? Nah, I think it's just me trying to get a higher high, overstepping my limitations and crossing the line of safe drinking. KH will know exactly what am I talking about, won't you dear friend. Right now, that's what I really want to do, let's go to that carefree place hidden in the bottle. My urges are downright specific. I don't want to play any of those gimmicky therapeutic sports or games so I can "sweat it out". I want to smash something, the more cracking breaking shattering and damage you can get out of it, the better it should feel. Its not healthy to control your aggression and its burning me up inside, and fuck me, I don't even know why it's there to begin with. Maybe this kind of random dispiritedness will strike everyone at some point in their lives and it's how you deal with it. But I can't deal with it. I need a fix. I need something more, something harsh and dangerous. Fuck this shit, it's not helping at all, it's only making me want to go back and lie down some more. And if I'm still in a mess of blues when I wake up, I will know what to do. Good night.

I feel good (I got you)

It's 4.30 AM in the morning but I can't go to sleep. I'm feeling so happy right now that I don't even know where to start. I'm just elated to have you in my arms after all these long long years. So many things I want to do with you, so many places to see together, so much to tell you about, I can hardly wait darling. Thank you for the 2nd chance you've given me to love you, and I promise that I will treasure you and all the things we share :)

James Brown knows exactly how I feel right now, and since I can't sing or dance even half of he can (look at him move!), I'll allow him to tell it to you on my behalf haha.

Whoa-oa-oa! I feel good, I knew that I would, now
I feel good, I knew that I would, now
So good, so good, I got you

Whoa! I feel nice, like sugar and spice
I feel nice, like sugar and spice
So nice, so nice, I got you

{ sax, two licks to bridge }

When I hold you in my arms
I know that I can't do no wrong
And when I hold you in my arms
My love won't do you no harm

And I feel nice, like sugar and spice
I feel nice, like sugar and spice
So nice, so nice, I got you

Whoa! I feel good, I knew that I would, now
I feel good, I knew that I would
So good, so good, 'cause I got you
So good, so good, 'cause I got you
So good, so good, 'cause I got you

A poem in return

Ever so sweet, she wrote me a poem on her blog. I liked it so much I'm going to post it on mine without her permission haha. Lovoly indeed!

LOVOLY POEM!
When we go to the Movies,
I feel all so Happy but
You lose the tickets
and make me feel so pek chek..

DONG DONG DONG 1,2,3
I wana eat a simple Dinner
You said ok
I thought we were gonna eat "ZAP CAI PENG"
In the end You brought me to SUN TEC
and we ate KUISHINBO

I wanna eat Char Kuey Tiao
You brought me to eat Botak Jones
And yet everything seemed to fall into place
When i see your Botak Burgers.

I Thought i was nice
I went Novena to find u for lunch..
You came CCK, CLementi and JP for Lunch and Dinners
I brought You Muji Chocolates along the way.
You brought me Roll ROyce, CHOC and raisin chocolates
all also along the way.
Which way did you go,
i wonder?
How come all longer and nicer ways than mine?

I love chocolates
You love everything
I love Chicken
You Love Fish
I Like Samantha
You Like Brandon
Samantha like brandon
Noo...not our Brandon
I disturb Brandon
You Disturb Samantha
Wait..Its getting messy
I stop here

How come my poem doesnt ryhme?
Yet my meaning did its time
and told you what was meant to be said
It was simple
yet not easy
It took lotsa courage
and lotsa free time(apparently)

And then I wrote you one too, to thank you for your wonderful poem. A short and simple one because I'm not very good at it. In fact, I believe this is my first time writing a poem, but I still hope you'll like it haha.

It didn’t matter at all
That your poem doesn’t rhyme
Because darling
Neither really does mine

I still remember our very first date
Sorry that was my mistake
Please dear don’t be pek chek
I’ll let you keep the tickets!

I don't actually care
About where we are gonna dine
Because always the laughter that we share
It shows we're having a good time

Just to spend a little time with you
I don't mind those long rides to the west
To,
I'm burning with anticipation
And fro,
I'm blessed with blissful memories

Thank you for the box of Meiji
Chocolate dusting and strawberry filling
And with a name like MeltyKiss
I'll melt one when its you I miss

I love all the things that are you
When you fold your legs on every seat
Even when its on the bus
And how you niam me about everything
But blush when i tease you about us

And so here
My humble poem ends
But I'm sure that our journey together
Will traverse down life much further

"Harlo auntie, kopi O lai ji bueh hor"

Recently I have been accused of “exhibiting a level of maturity well past my age”. It would have been a rare compliment, except that the observer had meant it to be anything but that. The exact words were “Why you so uncle”, albeit said in a jokingly manner (I certainly hope so). And so, thinking I could prove wrong the person who remarked that, I retrospect my behavior and the activities I’ve been doing lately, instead coming up with so many personal examples that I had to concede to her. Here’s ten of them off the top of my head, and arranged like one of those online quizzes people like so much. Who knows, you might find your inner “uncle” too.

1. You buy 4D and Toto weekly, and say things like “Got buy, got chance”.

2. When you meet your buddies for dinner, yours is the only Kopi O amidst all the Coke and Teh Ping.

3. You have friends who like to hang out in town and go clubbing, but you prefer to hang out at a kopitiam and go fishing.

4. You have hundreds of Hokkien songs in your media library, and you hope fellow commuters can’t hear them coming out of your headphones on the rush hour train.

5. You ever considered buying a gold watch and Ray Ban Aviators (I later found out from an uncle that Top Gun popularized them back in the 80’s.)

6. You find yourself occasionally replying your friends in dialect without thinking, and you have the urge to mispronounce English words on purpose.

7. You realize that you look like one of your father’s fishing pals when you are in a stripy polo T-shirt, shorts, and slippers.

8. You are always lamenting about the “good old days” (though the good old days were really just your Secondary school life half a decade ago).

9. You like the cars which were popular two decades ago.

10. Your friend (Jolyn) points out to you that you are an “uncle” all too often, and the friend (Brandon) you hang out with got labeled “uncle” too by his girlfriend.

Nonetheless I’m not too worried about it. It’s probably just the Singaporean heartlander way of life deeply anchored in me. I just hope I don’t go into an identity crisis twenty years from now haha.

Bangkok trip dec '06

A couple of days back, Jolyn showed me her little trove of travelling pictures amassed from her last few vacations. Looking at those photographs depicting splendid food and the leisurely life, I couldn't help but feel wanderlust stirring in me. And this prompted me to go back and look through my own collection of snapshots taken from my recent Bangkok holiday. Previously I had only briefly browsed through them, as the pleasing memories of Bangkok were still fresh in my mind. But this time while looking through, I found some rather interesting ones to share. None of those postcard type photographs of landmarks, you guys have probably seen them all.

Ja and I at Diamond City Hotel. This photo is titled "Gay Motel", need I say more?

I got from the streets this assortment of grilled pork and chicken served on a bed of greens. A bit like the local satay, but each stick is much meatier, and there are more varieties to choose from. Throw in a can of Singha, and its a happy meal for just roughly 2 stinking Singapore dollars!

Dirt cheap fares, a spacious and breezy interior, and carrying the charm of the last era, the ubiquitous bus is perfect for exploring the streets of Bangkok.

Apparently there's a place in Thai mythology for giant she-monsters which gobble hapless village men as a source of nourishment. If whoever painted this think they are terrifying, he obviously haven't seen Mel Lee.

I bought these out of curiosity, and off the streets for a mere 10 Baht. Lights poorly and lacks body, but rather spicy. Not recommended, I ditched the whole packet after 1.

You can find anything in Chatuchak. Even toilet roll dispensers in the form of a negro stripper with pink nipples. Comes complete with a pink sequined thong to hide its bulging male genitals. We got this for Kenny as a souvenir, and to this date I still wonder about his wife’s initial reaction when he brought it home.

We found this magician, flamboyantly clad in red thigh-hugging leather pants, and knee-high snakeskin boots, also in Chatuchak. When he performs, he would also move his body to the latest hip-hop hits booming out of a cassette player. I paid 20 Baht for his Magic Book, and instructions on how to use it...I'm his biggest fucking fan!

And lastly, a tribute to my favorite donuts.

A little place down by the lake

I was listening to the White Stripes on my way to work this morning, and Jack White sang me this verse in “Hotel Yorba”.

I been thinking
of a little place down by the lake
they got a dirty little road leading up to the house
I wonder how long it will take till we're alone
sitting on the front porch of that home
stomping our feet on the wooden boards
never gonna worry about locking the door

I’m dedicating these lyrics to Jolyn, because if she remembers the things we talked about not too long ago, she’d find them meaningful too haha.

Good day to everyone; I’m in an incredibly good mood right now :)

Funk machine

I will kill/steal/beg just to get my hands on 1 of this.

The Fender American Vintage '62 Precision Bass.

Ja au revoir

We had a little gathering at Xian's yesterday night for dinner and drinks, because Da Ja will be flying over to USA for a university work-study scheme in 2 weeks time. Most of the guys were there, and even Ken made it. In fact, he was largely responsible for the magic that went on in the kitchen, which brought to the table all the good food the boys love.

We ate well - there was beef stew, shepherd's pie, baked potatoes, lagsane and meatballs. Kenny and his helpers sweated in the kitchen for many long hours, and everything that came out of there was just fucking amazing. Shame that i arrived midway through dinner, but i promise photos the next time so you can drool.

And then we drank well too. All conceivable kinds of alcohol could be found in abundance behind Sheng's bar, and all through the night, he mixed from this massive arsenal to quench the guys' insatiable thirst for his fantastic cocktails. That said, all I had was 1 lousy beer haha.

And Ja received from us a leather bounded pocket journal, which is possibly his first normal gift from us. (That doesn't mean the leather thong or the multi-speed vibrator we gave him for past birthdays will lose out to the journal in terms of practical value. I'm sure Ja makes good use of everything we have given him.) So, if you are reading this Ja, other than using the journal for the obvious, which is to chronicle all your overseas trysts/exploits/romps, we hope you can ink down the interesting things you will be discovering there and share it with us when you come back. Without the accent of course haha.

With Jerry and Tay flanking Ja with emo faces, he looks quite like the leader of a boyband here.



Lastly, no gathering's ever complete without a friendly tussle with Yannie. Usually its everybody vs him, and last night was no exception. This time, he got pinned down and got his balls prickly heat powdered. Then a short while later, he got pinned down again and had his ass spanked and poked at. And before everyone called it a day, we brought him down one last time and gave him a major wedgie. The funny thing is, for too many reasons to remember, Yannie will try pinch somebody's nipples, and when the person fights back, then suddenly everyone is on Yannie like a pack of wolves. Feels a little like the "Lord of the Flies" to me haha.

This was Round 1.

The wedgie went so high his underpants almost went over his head. Bastard pretended to look at the Polaroid and crumpled it in his hand, then someone accidentally burnt it with a cigarette. See if you still can make out the picture.

Men and their saucy fun

Eating at Botak Jones is kinda like going into an arena where the men duke it out over heaps of cooked meat, with fries stacked nearly as high, and an absurd amount of condiments to round it all up into a meal where only the strongest (but not necessarily the fittest) can survive.

Men can argue how the Whopper is slowly but surely shrinking in size, turned into a ghost of its former glorious immensity. They will also point out to you, that the Big Mac isn't really big at all. (Though in comparison with the rest of what Macdonalds has to offer, I suppose the name "Big Mac" might work then, and that's saying alot.) But at Botak Jones, they challenge you to even dare complain about the proportions of the food they serve up. Once the plate is set down in front of you, its possible you might experience a sudden temporal memory loss of the word "small" and all of its synonyms. The average man will order the Botak Burger, the benchmark of masculinity. The big eaters will order the Double Botak. And then you have the elites with appetites few can match. They order the You-Crazy-What??, 450grams of beef patties smothered in melted cheese and served with a pyramid of fries. Just yesterday, some of us guys went down to the branch in Clementi. Most of us took on the Double Botak, and though I know this is not the most accurate of yardsticks, I guess we can still be very much assured of our "Manliness" haha.

Which brings me to what my post title is all about. Being men, its an in-built thing for us to want to eat the biggest burgers. And also being men, its natural for us to give in to our impulses to do stupid things (Also called "Jiak Ba Bo Sai Pang") after a good hearty meal. And so halfway into the meal, Andre started doing the whole Shake-Squeeze-Squirt thing (uh sauce bottles), and we ended dinner with 2 pieces of exquisite organic art. Enjoy.

Mr Peanut was originally borne out of Andre's imagination. Unfortunately I don't have the picture of Andre's "Good Christian" version, so you guys have to make do with the bad nut.

If this is the only kind of rocket they fire, the world will be a better place.



And now, a special picture of a seemingly harmless calender...



Can anybody tell me why does this calender look so wrong??

Moving pictures and unboxed music

Nope. Nothing crazy which happened in the past few days to tell you people about. No bearded ladies or pugnacious senior citizens, no best mates (e.g. KH) rolling about on the ground and eating grass, no ingenious master pranks, nothing of those sort. But come to think of it, I do remember a very solemn Sean detailing to Jerry and I, the undeniable existence and purpose of UFOs in our modern world, over dinner last week. That would make an interesting story, but let’s leave it for another time.

But of course, that doesn't mean the week was anything short of being great. Last Sunday Jolyn and I watched Freedom Writers, the latest Saint-saves-students movie which did raise a few thoughts with its portrayal of American youth apathy and racial segregation, perpetrated by a prejudiced education system and street gang feuds. Before that was Music and Lyrics, and while I don't usually watch romantic comedies, the witty dialogue and charming performances from Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant made the movie thoroughly enjoyable.

I met up with some of the guys too, before their overwhelming revision schedules consume what remaining free time they have left. Last week Jerry, Sean and I made a trip down to Arab Street, searching for a live Jazz café recommended by Andre. And while there, we discovered that Arab Street, well known for its Shisha bars and cafes, also has pretty damn good Mediterranean food. Jerry and I shared a Lamb carcass cooked with special herbs and served with fragrant rice. It was so good we licked the plate clean, though for 2 persons, the portion leaves more to be desired. Jerry says I was exaggerating, but I swear I can finish the thing by myself. A little down the street we found the place we were looking for, the Blu Jaz Café. Im not sure if the band that played that night was the resident band, but they were definitely good. The music was a blend of experimental keyboards, jazzy bass playing, and light but fast drumming. Music aside, the beer was affordable and the food (judging from the fish and chips Sean ordered) seemed decent too. Im going back there for sure.

Then just a few days back, we went to Crazy Elephant at Clarke Quay. This time there were more of us, probably because the draw was live rock music. Jerry and I met first, then KH, Yeja, Sheng and Richie joined us later. The band that played that night mostly did blues rock covers. There were Jimi Hendrix, Elvis, and even a skewed version of The Door’s "Backdoor Man" which included some parts of "The End". Technically they were very good, with both guitars taking turns to play fantastic solos, and the drums and bass providing excellent rhythm support. Listening to them play for almost 2 hours was pure pleasure, reminiscent of the time when we were at Bangkok’s Rock Pub.

The only regret I have, was not taking pictures at any of the places, or rather in this case, no videos of the bands playing. Oh well, remind me to bring my camera along the next time I’m going to explore another live music venue, so you can listen to the good ones play here.

Fishing at Mandai

Ok, its not the blogging fever that got me posting twice today, Im just damn excited about the results of today's fishing trip haha :D

My dad and I wanted to lure fish for a couple of hours at our new fishing spot at Mandai, but luckily dad had the good sense (though against reservoir regulations) to bring two reels of hand lines. Our rods couldn't reach the deeper parts of the reservoir, whereas the catfish bait on the hand line did the trick.

Here's what we hauled in, our first Toman catch:

The 2kg beast is tough as hell. Even as Im here typing, it still defies death in my kitchen sink.

I got a feeling I'll very much resemble my dad 20 years from now.

This must be my favorite spot at the moment.

So you think you can dance

Last sunday's trip to Marina South's Live Seafood Steamboat yielded an amazing discovery - the humble crab has more talent than some of the contestants who competed in the Dancefloor. Why, look at this one little fella go! Nevermind that his body isn't quite in one piece, but its simply beautiful...

Tying a string (of words) around my finger

Well, here goes the Adam to all the rest of my posts to come. And it will do exactly what my title says, that is, to remind me in the future why I picked up blogging.

Up till only a few months ago, the idea of blogging has never appealed to me as a way of journal keeping. Reason being, when the blogging boom took off, majority of the blogs I had visited out of curiosity were mainly tepid, uninspiring entries about daily mundane routines. There were almost nothing interesting at all, and whats the point of archiving something nobody wants to read. (I don't think anybody wants to, during a boring day at work, read an entry they posted half a year back, about a boring day at work. Unless there's something comforting about how invariably unremarkable your life is.) It had never occurred to me back then, how much potential the humble blog has. Simply put, I had taken a look, seen nothing exceptional, and have since thrown the idea of blogging out of the window. But of course, that wasn't the only reason. I am also a bit of a technophobe, so the thought of fiddling with all those codes and stuff scared me haha...

However, a few months back, i got back in touch with a group of close friends (you know haha) after a hiatus of a few years, and the easiest way to catch up on what they have been doing all this while, was naturally to go snooping in their blogs. That was then, i realised, that other than the narcissistic and obsessive use of a blog as if it was little more than a mirror of their lives that some people has been using it for, the blog is quite indispensable as a tool to keep precious memories. The human mind has its failings and limitations when it comes to storage capacity, so what's better than a journal of invaluable memories you can revisit again and again, without the fear of having to grapple with brain fade? (I'm really quite forgetful) Besides, I have been out of school for too long, starting to write again will do me some good.

And so, here we are, Numero Uno. Hopefully the times to come will constantly be interesting enough to make me want to write about it, else i might degenerate into one of the "Same Shit Different Day" people. Wish me luck.